How to Help

 

I know that I have the best support system of friends and family a person could wish for and I know everyone will want to help -- and most of you won't know how to do that -- so here's some ideas... hopefully this is helpful and taken how intended, with a heck of a lot of love.

 

What I need from you:

Lots of good energy
Lots of positive thoughts
I'll take prayers in all forms but may not be willing to participate inreligious discussions or events.
Hugs
Love

Respect and support on decisions I make (yep they might be wrong and they maynot be what you would decide but they are mine to make).

Understanding that I am doing research, reading, talking to my doctors anddiscussing all options with key people in my life. Just because I may not bedoing it with you doesn't mean I don't care about you, just that there is onlyso many moments in the day --- and some of them should be doing things likeeating ice cream and watching bad tv -- not talking about my illness.


Wanna do something cuz you can't fixthis but want to help?
Tasty food is nice and hardly ever rejected. I already eat pretty healthyand while I will accept tasty "cancer fighting foods" I'd probably behappier with pie ( or cookies ).

Make a casserole for the family; or if you're rolling in the dough -- buy us ag.c. to a local restaurant. I'm the main cook and I might have days I'm justnot up to it. I get regular massage so $ towards that means more relaxingfor me. Movie tickets are nice.

I like cards and getting mail. Seriously. Notes and cards and jokes are super dooper inmy book.

Speaking of books-- I do want to get back into reading... So any suggestionsfor easy- reading escape-from-reality books are helpful.

I drink some. I like good whiskey and Guinness. Thad likes red wine; andwhiskey.

Please don't forget my family; they are going through this too. In someways I think it's harder on immediate family cuz they try to be strong for thesick person and they feel even more like they can't control things or fix itfor their loved one--- the kids love candy and good food. And they needgood ears to listen to them and good fun to distract them. Thad too.

There isn't much I'd caution you over –buthere’s a few things to consider…

I ask that you use your common sense on sharing my situation -- talk with yourclose friends/ family if you want ( it can bring up a lot of emotions and Iunderstand that) but please don't make public announcements on my behalf.

Be confident in my ability to get through this and know I'm strong and asurvivor and am going to beat this. I know the realities and I don't need thedownside presented to me now; my doctors have that covered.

Remember I'm the same person -- please don't treat me with kid gloves. I'mstill able to work, lift shit, be angry, make mistakes etc. Call me on my shit,be sarcastic, don't watch your words; be as normal as you're capable of-- lordknows I'll be my crazy ass self.

Know that even if I'm having a bad moment or day that I just need you to hangon to the positivity for me until I regain my footing. Sometimes beingthere is all I need from my supporters.

Please don't inundate me with all the things I need to read about cancer; Iknow you mean well but I'll be compelled to read it-- and it can becomeoverwhelming pretty fast. On the flipside if you want/need to do some reading – I suggest the NCCN.org site or theNCI (cancer.gov) site.

 

http://www.nccn.com/type-of-cancer/bresat-cancer.html

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/wyntk/breast/page1




August 3: so Ive had a request to post ideas for treats and/or places for g.c. In Lawrence/ St Louis

 

Treats: I like pie, tarts, bars, cookies and "coffee cake". There's not a lot of things I don't like but I am less fond of peanut butter and blueberry things. A blueberry coffee cake is ok; less blueberry more cake! I love chocolate but also like desserts that are less sweet. There were these cupcakes my 2nd mom Doris used to make which were chocolate with a cream cheese(?) filling and a blueberry struedely- coffee cake thing. Oh and lemon bars !

G.c.'s may be hard I realize as we dont eat at many chains but most places do have websites I guess these days... Favorite restaurants in Lawrence: 715, Wa's, Esquina, Mirth; favorite cafe in st. Louis: half and half. We'll be in the central west end mainly on our trips -- a chain that is close to the hospital and hotel is Panera/ st. Louis bread co. Other places there in the neighborhood- Salt, Tortillaria, Majestic, Wildflower I can see us eating at.

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